It started with a song… this time the song was in my heart. After many years of trying we were finally going to have a baby.  Everything seemed to be perfect.  Years of yearning for a child turned into months of anticipation for the blessed event.  Each and every day turned up new and exciting feelings and emotions but love was growing inside me and the song in my heart filled me with such joy.  Each week that passed I marveled at the changes taking place and hoped and prayed for a healthy baby.  It didn’t matter, a boy or a girl, just a healthy baby to love and cherish.  The day came when we found out the sex of our child! We were having a boy, a beautiful baby boy, so tiny and so perfect! My husband was thrilled beyond words and so was I.

We spent the next weeks getting the baby’s room ready, an antique crib, all the little things you need for an infant, it was after the holidays and winter had set in. The weeks flew by and early in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day our beautiful son was born.  He was absolutely perfect and healthy with a set of lungs sure to keep us hopping.  The child of my dreams, the song of my heart, our beautiful perfect baby boy.  We named him James, a family name, there was at least one in every generation of my husband’s family.  He was strong and happy, more importantly he was mine and just so perfect.  A magical bundle of joy.  I marveled as he grew day by day it seemed.  Each new thing he did just amazed me and filled me with joy.

Shortly after he was six months old, nearly seven, on the ninth of October, 2007, he was taken away. My joy, my love, was gone. It was a freakish accident, those things you read about or see on the news and think to yourself you could never survive but you do.  Hit broadside by a drunk driver on a rainy afternoon in early October.  I’ll always remember that day, always.  The song of my heart was silenced.  And every day, I look for him and listen to see if that sweet song will return.  It’s six years now, much has changed since then.  I have changed, I hope I have become a better person because of this.  I wrote this poem for my baby, my joy.  I’ve shared it earlier but not the story.
Sweet Baby James

When I am lonely
I dream of you
And sing sweet lullabies
In my sleep
Remembering you
Your precious smile
Beautiful brown eyes
Soft downy hair
Ten tiny fingers
Ten tiny toes
I count them again
Knowing somehow
You are safe
And whole
Embraced by an angel
Until my dreams
Are no more
And I hold you
In my arms again


He’ll always be with me, as my heart sings to him all the time.  Thank you for reading, I leave you with this music…


For Your Babies  ~ Simply Red



And a Lullaby for my sweet little angel….




Yes, this truly did start with a song in my heart… and when I think of my joy, though short lived, I do smile.




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