comeTalkToMe

It started with a song… one I’ve been listening to for what seems like a lifetime, but it really hasn’t been quite that long! It’s one of the songs I listen to when I need to get a blood transfusion for many reasons, but mainly because it is such a solitary experience. Just me, in a room with a window (if I’m lucky!), watching the clouds go by and letting the life giving cells work their magic one more time. The song is “Come Talk To Me” originally recorded by Peter Gabriel and covered magnificently by Bon Iver (Justin Vernon). I love the intro, and often think of the tiny little cells running along into my veins to the tempo of the music. Just doing their thing! It also makes me wish that there was someone there who would just pop in and talk to me… as I’m often scared and really not a fan of needles. So I listen and watch and wait as the cells do their work, all the while trying to ignore where I am. This last time was a particularly off day for me, so many things happening all at once, with work, home, life in general; it was difficult to be really positive about anything. Restless and scared I decided to write a few of my thoughts down, to try and ease the stress that was taking over my world at the moment.

Lying here and letting go
Giving in to thoughts
As the clock ticks
And the blood drips
I’m alone

A chance to flourish
One life to live
Or is it death
Come knocking
As light fades again

Visions run rampant
With notions
Of leaving behind
This valley of tears
My here and now

Clouds silently scudder
Across the sunlit sky
Like fanciful things
My mind valiantly wanders
I know not of what

Time elapses
Counting the bruises
Of my bodies defiance
Against this brilliant weakness
There’s nothing left to do

Leaving for a bit
Wrapped in slumber
Memory’s sweet embrace
A question to no one
Who am I?

Restless and weary
My fight has gone astray
Love beckons softly
A belief, your smile, your name
No words left to say

Maudlin thoughts, I know! But, from them I was able to see the brighter side of things once again. I am alive, and for many reasons, I am truly blessed by the people in my life who love me for who I am. My husband, my family and a few close friends who know the real me, and accept me with all of my failures and odd notions. And I am blessed by the unknown donors, who have selflessly given of themselves so that I can live to fight another day. They are nameless, but I hope in some way they know how grateful I am.

People who donate these life giving gifts have no idea how special they are. Without these selfless people, I and many others like me, would have expired because of the failure of our bodies and the varied illnesses that plague us. I’ve been a recipient of blood transfusions on many occasions and am so grateful that someone was fearless enough to do this for me. There is no way to repay what they have done, so I am hopeful that living on is the best gift I can give back.

While writing this, I happen to come across a quote from a book titled LifeGraf by Dennis Layton: “As the beauty all around us can go unseen in our haste, so too can the meaningfulness and the beauty in one’s life go unnoticed. #LifeGraf” This made me pause and realize just what beauty there is in my life.

If you have the time, I highly recommend it, it will definitely give you insight into your own life experience! For more information visit: http://lifegraf.net/  LifeGraf is available on Amazon as a digital download by following this link: http://www.amazon.com/LifeGraf-new-doing-life-review-ebook/dp/B00APLK86K/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1399826409&sr=1-1&keywords=lifegraf

Oddly enough, I realize now that along with the music I was listening to, a silly conversation about everything and nothing got me through this last solitary transfusion. Technology allowed two dear friends to “Come Talk To Me” and help me to feel normal and silly, while scary things were happening. What a gift! I know they didn’t realize it at the time, neither did I really! But, having someone reach out just to say hello and chat certainly helped to calm my fears.

So I leave you now with this video of “Come Talk To Me”, by Bon Iver (my personal favorite and the one I’ve been listening to for the last few years.) Give it a listen if you have time! I hope you enjoy this song as much as I do!

Bon Iver – Come Talk To Me

Thank you for taking the time to read this blog. And Thank you to all who have donated a gift of life, you truly are amazing!

As always, it started with a song… and ended with a smile! 🙂
Annie

For more info on Bon Iver and his music, please visit the following sites:

Website: http://boniver.org
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/user/boniver

If you would like to become a blood donor, please contact your local blood bank, hospital system or the Red Cross. They will welcome you with open arms!

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One Comment

  1. Dear Annie you are such an inspiration to me and I’m sure to many others.Next time I start moaning about something irrelevant I’ll think about you! It is a constant source of inspiration to me that the people who have the biggest problems are the ones who are able to spread the most happiness! We spend a lot of time laughing and ‘messing about’ on the internet but it also enables us to know people we would never have the pleasure of meeting. We ALL have failings (Yes even ol’ Gongleshanks although he would NEVER admit it!) and true friends are the ones who accept others ‘warts and all’ I thank God for the internet, I have ‘met’ some of the loveliest people because of it.You are brave to share your story and how could anyone fail to admire your courage. God bless you and send you a miracle. Life really isn’t fair! Gongle would be horrified to read this so please note it is Steve alias Bob writing it! xxxx

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